Any Excuse

Hedgehog

Hedgehog

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One of the weirdest excuses I heard from a ladyfriend (June) was when she rang me up late one night and said- "I'm ever so fed up, I'm sitting halfway down the stairs wishing I was dead!"
"Hang on" I replied, "i'll come straight over to cheer you up"
"No don't bother" she answered, "I'm going to watch my Billy Elliot video"

Then another time a woman (Kathleen) said "My hips getting worse, I have to lay in bed with my leg hanging over the edge to ease the pain"
"Shall I come over and massage it for you?" I asked, "the warmth of human hands can work wonders"
"No thanks" she replied, "Monty's in bed with me" (her cat)

Then there was a woman called Kaye who I tried to arrange a date with- "Shall we meet on Wednesday?" I asked.
"Sorry, can't make it" she replied, "I'm up court on that day on charges of criminal damage. I took a shine to our local vicar, but he kept snubbing me so I went down his church with an axe and smashed up the door"
 
Yes I lost touch with her for a while after that, then bumped into her again a couple of years later and tried to arrange another date.
"Sorry" she said, "I've got another court case coming up, I was dating a man but he tried to ditch me so I held him prisoner in my house at gunpoint"
 
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