Welcome to The Few Good Men

Thanks for visiting our club and having a look around, there is a lot to see. Why not consider becoming a member?

Men dropping out of life...

I've started to notice this trend in the past ten or so years. Grown men are choosing to remain single, rather than commit to the traditional family structure. I'm kinda in that boat myself.....divorced, no kids, and no plans to ever have any.

Is this the new norm?
@ Meat Grinder

One could argue that the choice to remain single has in fact existed for quite some time throughout history but that its practitioners were largely sequestered within the clergy class of various religious factions (i.e. Several Buddhist sects do not allow their clergy to marry. Jainism doesn't allows their clergy to marry, moreover there is a sects in Hindu religion - Nagas who don't marry, and of course there is also the Roman Catholic constraints placed on their clergy regarding marriage).

What is perhaps more prevalent now is its more visible infiltration into the non-denominational realm of society and attention given it through social media.

Cheers!
 
I hear so many horror stories about men losing fortunes in divorce in the US.. isn't it possible to make some kind of marriage contract over there, saying there won't be an even split of the estate?
 
I hear so many horror stories about men losing fortunes in divorce in the US.. isn't it possible to make some kind of marriage contract over there, saying there won't be an even split of the estate?
There is , it's called a Prenuptial Agreement
 
Women marry up. Men marry down and no prenuptial agreements are not bulletproof. Some states allow challenges to them and in all cases judges can and have thrown them out if they deem them unfair or for a number of other reasons.

Once you tie the know and sign on the dotted line, you have invited the government into your life. If the marriage dissolves for any reason the government now has a say in your life and personal freedom. If kids are involved and you're a productive member of society the government has a vested interest in making sure offspring involved don't become a burden on the government.

On the other hand if you're not a productive member of society and have offspring the governments stance is different...

The history of the institution of marriage is interesting. I'm no expert, but what little I've gathered is in the Western World its changed since the Roman period, through the dark ages and beyond to today. Women were once considered property.

When our family moved from America to the Middle East I saw a completely different perspective of what marriage was about.
 
Last edited:
Might just be a point to think about, If and I say If Gentlemen on this subject weren't born from a happy marriage would there be so many points of view we perhaps wouldn't be here
I don't know about the UK, but over here next door in Denmark, lots of people stay in relationships for many years and have several kids and never bother to get married.
 
I've been with my girl for about twenty-three years, not married, one kid, high school sweethearts. I can say that I feel like I missed out on more than I've gained. I don't mean that in a sexual or dating way but more in a personal growth and achievement scenario. I have accomplished a fair amount in life, house, business, some toys, but to be honest with you gents, I couldn't give one shit about any of it. Most of my dreams have been about torching it all and riding away.
 
I´d like to chip in with a joke. One guy asked another guy if had been to his friends wedding. The guy replied "nah I´ll just go to his next one instead"

I think that may be a factor in it to. The fact that pretty much all western society mariiages end up with divorces. I myself coming from a broken home pitty the children of these marriages.
 
We each choose our own path, for many diverse reasons. Myself, I did marry, and while it’s been a journey with many twists and turns, and a few storms, we are still together after nearly 36 years. For sure, there are costs and benefits, and these are relative to what you need and are prepared to give.

No matter how sound your decisions are in life, there’s much that you cannot know and much that will change in you, your partner and in your circumstances. Luck, too, will inevitably play a part. Resilience and the ability to adapt are our key strengths. It helps if you are given some freedom to play.
 
So I guess I belong in here to. Single early 40s never married no kids. For me I saw all my friends getting married having kids and they all looked acted and said they were miserable and sitting here right now I can only think of one of them that is still married to the same woman all this time later. Now I have had a couple fairly long term relationships some we lived together some not some had kids some not. I can honestly say I glad I never married them or had kids.
Then something happened that I swear sounds like a chick flick movie script, probably a trilogy of material for. I reconnected with the first girl i ever remember having a crush on. Like we danced together, awkwardly, at a 6th grade spring dance. Her family moved around a lot and from then thru highshool she was in and out of my life. We never dated or even hooked up. After high school she went her way I went mine. Occasionally she would cross my mind. Then one day we ran into each other.
I swear guys it was like being struck by lightening. We spent that night together, moved in with each other shortly after and spent 4 years in pure absolute joy. Had something that you hear songs and fairy tales about but never really see in real life. Sure we had some hard moments but never had one fight. We would disagree but never disagreeable.
Some if not all the hard times we had were in one way or another connected to her family. These "people" are the lowest form of life I have ever seen walking on 2 legs. Think soap opera villians. To be fair they dont have a very high opinion of me either but it is only because I one of the few people who would call them on their constant daily bullshit. To prove this is real life and not fairy tale in the end they won.
My lady and I had talked several times about getting married but we really saw no reason to she had had a ten year horror show of a marriage and like me had saw very few married couples make it. We ended up with a little saying of ours that we know who we belong to so we dont need a receipt. Turns out that receipt would have came in very handy.
My lady had a fairy sudden onset of a mental disability which was the purest form of hell i can imagine on Earth. It took the better part of a year to diagnose including a couple involuntary pysch holds being placed on her. During which time not being next of kin I got no say so at all. Worse or actural family does even worse during her break down times before really knowing something was wrong we had some out of nowhere bad fights. It would kill me that she would accuse me of things i would never dream of doing and she would move out. And back in. And out. One of the out times they had her committed fill doctors head of nonsense about me and dropped a restraining order on me that prevented me from going to see her in hosital. As she would come back to herself they filled her head full of nonsense about me.
End of story she is OK-ish now days. Stays in contact with me secretly because she lives with her family. So to bring this back to the topic of marriage. I was always against it even before i had got with my lady. After I got with her I was even more against it because I knew the committment we had was so much stronger than any piece of legal paper would ever be. I knew who I belonged to and she did not need a receipt but turns out that receipt can mean a whole world of difference.
Sorry for the long story but once i start talking about her i find it very hard to stop ... pressing post before i just erase this

We feel you bro. Thanks for posting. :)

 
For a Man and Woman to have a successful marriage, they have to understand what marriage is about and what value it brings.

The problem is, these things are not taught and are not found in most of the world, the example we receive from entertainment and other sources show values that destroy the principles that marriage need to work and to be successful.

Most people are now coming from family structures that have also failed and are of no value as to show them how a marriage works or how to have a marriage that can bring meaning to them and life.

So seeing this thread does not surprise me at all, I can understand your views and if I only had the present views of society to guide me, I likely would be in the same place as you. Because the logical worldly self-centered man in me would never have married.

But I have come from a family that was striving to be just that, a family. I have parents, Grand-parents, uncles, aunts and others, All managing to make marriage work and to manage to raise their children to also understand what family is about and what it takes.

Now much of what helps is that my religion teaches the values that are needed to have a successful, loving home life, and with goals and a vision of where you want your family life to be, if both a man and a woman in the bonds of marriage truly want those, they will likely achieve it.

Marriage for me has been fulfilling, It is the place I have grown the most in my life, it has brought me my greatest joys and some of my most challenging struggles. More than my Military career or my professional career or my coaching of sports over the years.

Marriage is not supposed to make your life bliss, it is not going to be easy. It is to teach you to love others more than yourself, it is to allow you to learn to sacrifice, your time, talents and love to help raise your family so that they also can have success, joy, love and support from such a source.

I am happy, I am successful, I am supported, I am loved, I receive more than I can give. When my children come over to the house with their young families. 11 grandkids all under the age of 9 and they all try to jump on my lap at the same time, there is no other success in the world that matters more to me than that, for they all are the most important thing in my life.

And it does not mean I have lost who I am, no, I did not go out every week–end seeking the things I enjoy in my own life all the time. But I found that enjoying my loves in life mean little until I had the chance to share them with my children and to see them either not enjoy it or for them to also fall in love with it and it to become one of their passions. I think of running the rapids on rivers with my sons, I think of shooting with my one son and having him out perform me. I think of watching my son and daughter take to the stage, to act, sing and perform and to see them enjoy the experience and excel at the moment. I think of my sons on the sports field and seeing them have their moments of success and failure and knowing from my own experiences how much they will mean in their life. I think of them working their way through college and overcoming the challenges it brought and for them learning to have to rely on themselves. I think of them as they struggle to raise their own children and I see the hard days and I am grateful that I can support them and that they have a place they can find help when it seems too hard.

But I have an understanding of how important these relationships are and I also understand, that they are not just for a few years, that they are of value and will last for all eternity. And so will all the traits that I have gained by being together with them and working together with them for some common goals.

No, marriage is not something to just jump into and if you are not making yourself the type of person that can make marriage work and if you don’t marry someone that also has similar goals, then marriage is not going to be something that you will look at as good.

Married for 33 years presently and until the day I die and with a strong faith that it does not stop even then. So there, one voice that is willing to speak up for what marriage means.
 
Last edited:
No. Let's have a serious discussion here.

My oldest nephew, early 40s, (gainfully employed, pension, artistic, owns his house & Tacoma), in line to take over when his manager retires.....divorced, and no desire to date.

No desire to date, at all. Would rather remain a single heterosexual man than enter the current dating pool.

Ok. Here 39, divorced, no kids. Dating? Hell yeah :)

Although it's like in phases and I often grow tired of it, for a while. Also I think meeting someone 'organically' vs through dating apps etc is or works 'better'.

The systemic issue (or 'grace' as @MeatEtr explained it ;-) ) is imo the result of efficiency thinking, social media and more general focus on individuality combined with wealth and the lack of actually needing a partner/kids for survival. Probably pornhub is in there as well :ROFLMAO:

Anyway, it is difficult to meet new people when your working 40 hours (excl. 1-2 hours travel) and not into clubbing etc anymore (let alone during lockdown / covid hehe). Also everyone in the grocery store is looking at their phone and or some people feel above starting a casual conversation for no real reason. So there are apps. I have them, sometimes it's nice to look through them. If you invest time and energy in it, you will get things out of it. But there's also a lot of crap.

I do notice that often women in dating have a lot of expectations and demands and even spell them out up front. Whether or not I fulfill the criteria, that's not really making me feel interested in someone. Or stating things like 'NO ONS, NO FWB, only serious relationship'. Basically 95% profiles have that text, but a serious relationship can't be bought at the counter and is more the result of a commitment (and luck) of both parties than that it is something you can demand from the start.

I also think many people are more busy with 'the needs', 'expectations' and 'supposed to do / have this and that' which society 'lays' on them, instead of just bloody trying to enjoy their lives.

The latter is what I'm up for and if I'll find someone with which it is nice to enjoy things in life WHILE also still have our own things AND can still stand each other after being together for a couple of months/years: than I'm up for it, children everything.
If not, I'll get by fine by myself :)
 
For a Man and Woman to have a successful marriage, they have to understand what marriage is about and what value it brings.

The problem is, these things are not taught and are not found in most of the world, the example we receive from entertainment and other sources show values that destroy the principles that marriage need to work and to be successful.

Most people are now coming from family structures that have also failed and are of no value as to show them how a marriage works or how to have a marriage that can bring meaning to them and life.

So seeing this thread does not surprise me at all, I can understand your views and if I only had the present views of society to guide me, I likely would be in the same place as you. Because the logical worldly self-centered man in me would never have married.

But I have come from a family that was striving to be just that, a family. I have parents, Grand-parents, uncles, aunts and others, All managing to make marriage work and to manage to raise their children to also understand what family is about and what it takes.

Now much of what helps is that my religion teaches the values that are needed to have a successful, loving home life, and with goals and a vision of where you want your family life to be, if both a man and a woman in the bonds of marriage truly want those, they will likely achieve it.

Marriage for me has been fulfilling, It is the place I have grown the most in my life, it has brought me my greatest joys and some of my most challenging struggles. More than my Military career or my professional career or my coaching of sports over the years.

Marriage is not supposed to make your life bliss, it is not going to be easy. It is to teach you to love others more than yourself, it is to allow you to learn to sacrifice, your time, talents and love to help raise your family so that they also can have success, joy, love and support from such a source.

I am happy, I am successful, I am supported, I am loved, I receive more than I can give. When my children come over to the house with their young families. 11 grandkids all under the age of 9 and they all try to jump on my lap at the same time, there is no other success in the world that matters more to me than that, for they all are the most important thing in my life.

And it does not mean I have lost who I am, no, I did not go out every week–end seeking the things I enjoy in my own life all the time. But I found that enjoying my loves in life mean little until I had the chance to share them with my children and to see them either not enjoy it or for them to also fall in love with it and it to become one of their passions. I think of running the rapids on rivers with my sons, I think of shooting with my one son and having him out perform me. I think of watching my son and daughter take to the stage, to act, sing and perform and to see them enjoy the experience and excel at the moment. I think of my sons on the sports field and seeing them have their moments of success and failure and knowing from my own experiences how much they will mean in their life. I think of them working their way through college and overcoming the challenges it brought and for them learning to have to rely on themselves. I think of them as they struggle to raise their own children and I see the hard days and I am grateful that I can support them and that they have a place they can find help when it seems too hard.

But I have an understanding of how important these relationships are and I also understand, that they are not just for just a few years, that they are of value and will last for all eternity. And so will all the traits that I have gained by being together with them and working together with them for some common goals.

No, marriage is not something to just jump into and if you are not making yourself the type of person that can make marriage work and if you don’t marry someone that also have similar goals, then marriage is not going to be something that you will look at as good.

Married for 33 years presently and until the day I die and with a strong faith that it does not stop even then. So there, one voice that is willing to speak up for what marriage means.
Nailed it. Unfortunately, today there is this concerted effort in society to destroy the family unit and cultural values in the U.S. which, until recently, were what made this country great.
 
On the other hand I don't really see that many people here staying alone. Most of my friends / people I know settle down with someone, perhaps a couple of switches along the way. But few are alone pure from the desire of being alone and most end up with a partner, for better or for worse. Personally I think family is important, but not more important than enjoying ones life. For a healthy relationship or marriage I feel that there are two needed to tango and the relationship needs to be unconditional and on equal terms. As in, there is not one side that 'serves' the other side.

So while I congratulate @SlySniper with his healthy and happy marriage (which is something to cherish imo), I often hear and or read about stories where the woman has all kinds of tasks for the man (and or the man is abusive to the woman). In those cases I think it's better for them to move on and find happiness elsewhere. Don't reinforce a weak position is the correct term for this forum me thinks.

Anyway my personality doesn't allow me to be in a relationship where the other half is semi constantly nagging or expecting me to cater to their wishlists of tasks that ought to be done. I did learn from previous relationships to be honest ;-). Since my divorce in 2012 I've had dates where after a while the woman in question began trying to get her say about how I do the things that I do or what I should need to do etc. Actually quite a number of the dates ended like that. Some in good ways after discussing things in adult way, although that's not always an option unfortunately.
Funny thing was some people I know have even suggested that I should be more 'compromising' or something. But that never felt like something I could cope with, even in bad times. Me does not serve! :LOL:

Anyway I don't think it's necessarily wrong for people to stay single. It helps with the overpopulation and it's not like single people can contribute less to society. But in the end I wonder how many people that are now around 40 and say they'll stay single, will actually remain single for the rest of their lives. I guess less than 50% :D
Whether that's the lucky half or the unlucky half, is to be seen on a case by case basis; like most things in life, there are no guarantees whatsoever! (and all is in the eye of the beholder).

Interesting to read about this subject from various perspectives.
But now I'm going to cook myself some nice food. I must admit that cooking and having dinner is less fun single than in company, so I just make better food now. There's a solution to everything. ;)

Good day all!
 
My wife and I are not alike, but I like to point out to people that the reason we get along so well is we both are good at accepting the other for what they are, not for what they are not.

There is for sure expectations from each other as to how things are done, there needs to be responsibilities that each has, to share the work and task of day to day living. But there is no question, it still is much better than you having to take care of all your task on your own. Just working out of state for 6 months and each of us having to do our own thing for that time frame was a great reminder of how working together makes the daily task of life much better.

As for a wife pointing out ones flaws, it all depends in how one views it, now mind you, my wife seldom says anything along those lines, but when she does, I have learned its because I have normally stepped out of line with other people and have made a fool of myself, and she is just trying to let me understand what other people are thinking of me, which I have found to be correct most of the time. So I have chosen to look at it as a good life coach in my corner and it has helped me to be a little more mature when it comes to dealing with other people.

With the kids grown and out of the house, I have way more time than I need to do things that I want, only money limits the fulfilling of any wish list I have. But then again, we have done some nice special outings and had a few once in a life time events. But I really dont need those things any more, I still prefer to do something where I can have all the family envolved and to treat them to something special and to give the enjoyment to others.

For me, it has been the source for putting my efforts for something greater than myself.

If looking at it from a soldiers view, to be willing to sacrifice ones own life for that of his fellow soldiers.

True happiness comes when giving of one-self, what better way to do that, than within your own family.
 
My wife and I are not alike, but I like to point out to people that the reason we get along so well is we both are good at accepting the other for what they are, not for what they are not.

There is for sure expectations from each other as to how things are done, there needs to be responsibilities that each has, to share the work and task of day to day living. But there is no question, it still is much better than you having to take care of all your task on your own. Just working out of state for 6 months and each of us having to do our own thing for that time frame was a great reminder of how working together makes the daily task of life much better.

As for a wife pointing out ones flaws, it all depends in how one views it, now mind you, my wife seldom says anything along those lines, but when she does, I have learned its because I have normally stepped out of line with other people and have made a fool of myself, and she is just trying to let me understand what other people are thinking of me, which I have found to be correct most of the time. So I have chosen to look at it as a good life coach in my corner and it has helped me to be a little more mature when it comes to dealing with other people.

With the kids grown and out of the house, I have way more time than I need to do things that I want, only money limits the fulfilling of any wish list I have. But then again, we have done some nice special outings and had a few once in a life time events. But I really dont need those things any more, I still prefer to do something where I can have all the family envolved and to treat them to something special and to give the enjoyment to others.

For me, it has been the source for putting my efforts for something greater than myself.

If looking at it from a soldiers view, to be willing to sacrifice ones own life for that of his fellow soldiers.

True happiness comes when giving of one-self, what better way to do that, than within your own family.

The accepting part is indeed key in my opinion. Sharing responsibilities and helping eachother with good feedback is only healthy imo.

I think you're lucky! :)

I had some varied experiences which went from trying to teach me how to make my shopping processes much more lengthy and whether to go on holidays with friends, to taking them out every moment someone feels like it and acting stuck up when not getting their wishes, etc. There's a limit / boundary.
Anyway I've also had plenty of good experiences, so I'm certainly not dropping out of life! :-D
 
I think there are multiple influences here dictating decisions to get married and have children, not all of them line up.

When it comes to the choice to have kids, some of the stats nerds in Govt here in Australia have certainly known about the 'collapse' in the birth rate over the last decade or so. Really waiting for the Census results in 2022. It's pure economics (IMO) as the cost of living and building the Australian dream of owning your own house etc is very expensive compared to many parts of the world, so there is little in the way of dollars in the bank left for a planned out family of 2.1 kids and the dog. The politicians and the like don't like the think that sky rocketing house prices and stagnant wages (or near enough too) has an impact on the birth rate. I know from just my family that even though everyone is safely middle to upper middle income, there's serious talk about skipping kids simply because of the costs involved. There's also the problem of people spending more and more time in education/training and getting set up for life that you get to the traditional point of having kids but you still have a long check list of things still do.

As for marriages, yeah it's a bit complicated again given there is little difference these days (at least here in Oz) between defacto and traditional marriage. Marriages collapsed in 2020 due to COVID lockdowns but divorce rates stayed stable. Being stuck 24/7 in the same house as your spouse caused a few problems I'm guessing. :p I know from my own relationship, both of us being 36 when we met, both with careers, roughly the same income and assets behind us we're in a tricky spot if we want to merge our lives fully together. Really need to be sure about it. I know it was a conversation early on and both of us were unsure whether the other was a crazy psycho wanting their stuff. Luckily neither of us are like that. Both of us have seen people we know lose everything from a bad relationship. It is chilling even looking in from the outside. Better seperation/divorce laws may help lower the tension a bit if Govts/society is getting concerned with lower marriage rates but I don't think the lawmakers care a damn the world over.

Some other fun Aussie stats:
- Crude Marriage rate (the number per every 1000 head of population) is around 4.5 compared to 5.9 in the year 2000. (The year 2020 I'm ignoring because of COVID).
- Crude divorce rate is around 1.9, down from 2.6 in the year 2000.
- Divorces with kids generally occur when the kids are pre-teens. If the kids are all teenagers or older then it's generally a sign the marriage will last. From the marriage date, it's an average of 8.9 years to a separation and 12.5 years to a divorce.
- Feb, Mar and Oct are the big months for marriages.
- We're mostly a bunch of heathens with 80.3% of all marriages occuring outside of a religious institution.
- Median age of first marriage for males is 30.7 while for females is 29.2.
- Median age for follow on marriage after a divorce is 48.0 for males and 43.8 for females.
 
I absolutely agree with what @SlySniper said, because that's pretty much the exact same recipe for success that a couple I know have kept their marriage going for over fifty years, and I have an immense amount of respect for: My parents. Running a business while raising eight children couldn't have been easy, and in conversations with them more than once they credit their faith with keeping them together when life became overwhelming. Fortunately they stuck it out and are enjoying their retirement and many grandchildren (within the current restrictions).

As for my story, throughout my twenties I dated quite a lot, had several relationships that lasted a few months and the question was always in the back of my head: 'What would this woman be like as my wife?', or more to the point, 'What would this woman be like as the mother of our children?', would she be a good influence, does she have the discipline and selflessness to be a good parent, unfortunately the vast majority of the time the answer I came up with was No.
Sadly, time and time again I found out the unfortunate truth about us Australians, while we are often considered laid back and relaxed, and that is well true - the unfortunate downside to that is that we really don't like the hard yards if we have the option to get out of it, these women I was dating simply weren't serious, they were in it for a bit of fun, and sure marriage, but they would up and quit the moment it stopped being 'fun'.
The other thing I found, and it varied from individual to individual was what I term the 'entitlement complex', and anyone who has taken a look at a dating site knows what I'm talking about, a regular laundry list of things their man 'must be', this notion of 'I deserve this, I deserve that, I deserve to be treated like a Princess, etc etc' without any thought that perhaps they need to bring something to the relationship too?
Perhaps I was just unlucky, I know there are good Aussie women out there, but unfortunately most of them are already taken.
I may be being overly hard on women here, in fairness I've also noticed that many men are hardly deserving of the title - adult boys would be a better descriptor.

So, having given up on Australians, I went international. But here we will take a slight hiatus in the story to address what @Nort said further up.


Unfortunately, today there is this concerted effort in society to destroy the family unit and cultural values in the U.S. which, until recently, were what made this country great.

I agree with this. It's not just the USA either, it's Western civilisation as a whole. One need only look at the media in the past few decades to see that marriage is portrayed as an unfun, miserable existence, how many sitcoms out there feature weak husbands & fathers being ruled over by their wives and children, going by such a metric you'd think only singles and gay couples were capable of enjoying life. Consider that 'housewife' or 'stay at home mum' is considered a negative term today, the increasing divisiveness being pushed between the sexes by portraying men as evil, predatory beings who are to be kept in eternal suspicion - especially around children.
Add in to this the instant gratification push and relentless idea being foisted upon us by advertising that 'we' are the most important person in the world and it's little wonder that many people have neither the patience to work at something long-term in order to reap the rewards, or putting ones self aside for the betterment of another, both of which are absolutely essential in order to make a marriage work.

So to summarise, why does this push to weaken the family and society exist? In a nutshell, control. Men will fight tooth and nail to protect that which they hold dear, and a mans family definitely falls within that category, by destroying the family unit and breaking society into selfish, demoralised, dumbed down individuals (media, again), you create a population that is far easier to control.


Back to my story. Firstly I went hunting Russians. Overall this took the better part of three years, Russian women are incredibly beautiful* but as I found out over the course of that journey, Russians are.... different.
(*I say Russians women are beautiful, and they are, but for a very good reason - you never, ever see them without make-up!)
The difficulty I found with Russian women was that their decisions were based very much on how they feel, something perhaps common with most women of course, but the Russians take this and dial it up to 11. If a Russian woman was happy, she'd make your life heaven, if not, well... the opposite. And this could happen over the course of a day, or hours, or minutes. Being in a relationship with a woman who could go from hot to cold to hot at the drop of a hat for apparently no discernable reason was from my point of view, never going to result in a successful marriage - so that idea was eventually dropped.
Unfortunately I also found that our toxic western culture seems to have taken root over there as well, particularly amongst the younger women, quite a lot of entitlement complex was encountered.
I don't regret my time doing this, while it cost quite a lot of money and several trips to Russia and Eastern Europe, it was worth it for the cultural exposure alone - I was more annoyed at the amount of time invested and now lost however.

So, with the Russian possibilities dismissed, let's look a bit closer to home. Asia. Thailand.
After talking with several dozen Thai ladies online for a few months and separating the potentials from the crazies, I eventually took a trip over to meet one young lady - and finally struck gold! We've now been married coming up on six years and, while things have taken on the 'normalcy' that all marriages get after the honeymoon period wears off, I feel we're still going strong.
Now, lest anyone think I am suggesting that marrying an asian is the silver bullet solution, let me clarify, it's not. The two cultures are very different and there is some give and take there, however one thing I've noticed in common with all marriages between Aussies and asians is that 'marry the girl, marry the family' is a constant.
Fortunately, for the time being, there seems to be less of the entitlement complex that pervades our western society, although how long that will last I do not know.
I have noticed unfortunately that some blokes over here seem to have the idea that once they marry a girl from an asian country and bring her over, that then gives them licence to do whatever they want and treat their new spouse however they want, you can say a lot of things about asian women but they are not stupid, they know they only need to hang in here for two years, get their permanent residency, and then they can bail - so blokes who treat their new wives like shit and then accuse them of only being in it for the residency are fools, you don't own her, treat her right, and she's a lot more likely to stick around.

Overall, I'm currently happy in my marriage, my wife is beautiful and caring, we have adapted to each others foibles and largely get on great. Every few months we have to sit down and talk out issues, but I'm proud to say we have never had a 'fight' either verbal or, God forbid, physical.

If at some point down the line we do seperate, divorce, etc, I can say that I will not be doing this again. If there's one thing that I've taken from my parents faith (Catholic) is that I will get married once, and once only, I'll give it my best shot and if it doesn't work out - so be it, but I'm not doing this twice.
 
Back
Top