J
Johnsy
Guest
In the year 2010, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Tamworth (Gods country ?) and said:
"Once again, the earth has become wicked and over
-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.
Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:
"You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.
"Noah!," He roared,
"I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah,
"but things have changed since you asked me to build your 1st Ark."
"I needed a Building Permit."
"I've been arguing with the Building Inspector
about the need for a sprinkler system."
"My neighbours claim that I've violated the Tamworth LEP and DCP, numerous SEPs and many other Regulations by building the Ark in my back garden and exceeding the height limitations.
We had to go to the Tamworth city Council and now we have to go to the Regional Planning Committee for a decision and then to the NSW Land & Environment Court."
"The RTA; Council and the Electricity Company have demanded a shirt load of money for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea.
I told them that the sea would be coming to us and it would float itself, but they would hear nothing of it..."
"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban
on cutting local trees in order to save the Barking Owl habitat."
"I tried to convince the Council, The Green’s and local environmentalists that I needed the wood to save these same owls - but NO - GO!"
"When I started gathering the animals the RSPCA took me to court. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will.
They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and
it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in
a confined space."
"Then the Green’s put pressure on the NSW Environmental Protection Agency ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on YOUR proposed flood."
"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal Opportunity Commission & Labour Council on how many minorities and women I'm
supposed to hire for my building gang."
"Immigration are checking the
Visa status of most of the people who do want to work."
"The Building trade unions say I can't use my sons.
They insist I have to hire only Union workers with
Ark-building experience."
"To make matters worse, the ATO and Customs seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species."
"So, forgive me, Lord, but it will take at least 20
years for me to finish this Ark."
"Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine,
and a rainbow stretched across the sky."
Noah looked up in wonder and asked,
"You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"
"No," said the Lord.
"The AUSTRALIAN LABOR PARTY and GREENS have beaten me to it."
"Once again, the earth has become wicked and over
-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.
Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:
"You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.
"Noah!," He roared,
"I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah,
"but things have changed since you asked me to build your 1st Ark."
"I needed a Building Permit."
"I've been arguing with the Building Inspector
about the need for a sprinkler system."
"My neighbours claim that I've violated the Tamworth LEP and DCP, numerous SEPs and many other Regulations by building the Ark in my back garden and exceeding the height limitations.
We had to go to the Tamworth city Council and now we have to go to the Regional Planning Committee for a decision and then to the NSW Land & Environment Court."
"The RTA; Council and the Electricity Company have demanded a shirt load of money for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea.
I told them that the sea would be coming to us and it would float itself, but they would hear nothing of it..."
"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban
on cutting local trees in order to save the Barking Owl habitat."
"I tried to convince the Council, The Green’s and local environmentalists that I needed the wood to save these same owls - but NO - GO!"
"When I started gathering the animals the RSPCA took me to court. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will.
They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and
it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in
a confined space."
"Then the Green’s put pressure on the NSW Environmental Protection Agency ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on YOUR proposed flood."
"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal Opportunity Commission & Labour Council on how many minorities and women I'm
supposed to hire for my building gang."
"Immigration are checking the
Visa status of most of the people who do want to work."
"The Building trade unions say I can't use my sons.
They insist I have to hire only Union workers with
Ark-building experience."
"To make matters worse, the ATO and Customs seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species."
"So, forgive me, Lord, but it will take at least 20
years for me to finish this Ark."
"Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine,
and a rainbow stretched across the sky."
Noah looked up in wonder and asked,
"You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"
"No," said the Lord.
"The AUSTRALIAN LABOR PARTY and GREENS have beaten me to it."