All of the above sound good to me, and describe in more detail the sort of thing I had in mind when I proposed a "CO" role (ie not a "GamesMaster/Umpire", neutral, role, but very much part of one side, setting objectives etc).
Not sure if I'm right in thinking someone - probably more than one person, but one in particular - has devised a set of "rules' to play CM like this (info flows, command delays, etc)? Think it may have been for 1 v 1 rather than multiplayer, but perhaps could be used? Here on TFGM, or on BF forum?
Ring a bell with anyone?