Forgot my glasses ....

[Johnsy]

Yesterday my daughter asked why I didn't do something useful with my time.

She suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys.

I did this and when I got home last night I told her that I had joined a parachute club.

She said "Are you nuts?
You're almost 75 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"

I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card.

She said to me, "You idiot, where are your glasses!
This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!"

I'm in trouble again and don't know what to do!
I signed up for five jumps a week!

Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier.

 

[Corsaire31]

Good one... Man I have to copy these somewhere.

Three old guys are sitting on a bench in the garden of their retirement home.
The first one pulls out the newspaper of the day and starts reading. Then says "S...t, I don't see a damn thing anymore..."
The guy next to him starts shouting " WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ?" The first one replies with the same voice " I DON'T SEE LIKE I DID BEFORE !!"
"OH FOR ME IT'S DIFFERENT, I DON'T HEAR LIKE I DID BEFORE !!"

They turn to the third old man, and ask "WHAT ABOUT YOU ?"

Answers the old guy " For me it's different.. See this morning I got up at 6:30 as usual, I went through the park and around the pond doing my everyday jogging. When I came back, the cute girl doing the cleaning was on her knees scrubbing the floor.. You know me, I couldn't resist, I pulled her skirt up and got on to it... She started shouting at me : are you nuts, it's the third time since yesterday afternoon !!
See, guys, my problem is that I don't remember things like before..."