Ever wonder how many full caps of ZzzQuil would it take for you to wake up
spooning an inflatable Snowman 2 blocks away?
..... well it’s 3.
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Astonishing how whenever you go to the post office the queue in front of you
is made up almost entirely of people who appear to have ended up at the post
office by accident, have in fact never visited a post office before, and have no idea
what they want out of the experience.
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The other night I ordered a series of drinks so bizarre that the bartender earnestly
asked “what’s going on with you?”
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My doctor just called to ask why I answered "yes" to the "have you felt nervous,
anxious, or on edge in the last 30 days?"
The question was on my prescription refill questionnaire.
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One day you’re young and next day you realize you will never find a pillow that works
ever again
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I’m glad these M&Ms have a resealable package. That way I can eat half the bag now
and the other half one minute from now.
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You're welcome!