mTk's Humor Strikes Again. You've Been Warned!

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Listen frozen meal instructions!
Never in the history of owning microwaves have I ever known the wattage of any microwave.
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My dad is vacuuming while chewing sunflower seeds.
He's spitting them out right in front of the vacuum to clean them up as he goes.
I still have so much to learn from this man who gave me life.
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I dream of the day when paper-towel manufactures just say how many rolls are in a package, and not how
many hypothetical rolls would be in the package if they were some other hypothetical size.
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Why, yes. I could improve my attitude.
However, my insurance does not cover those kinds of meds.
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Rage Against the Machine never specified what type of machine they were furious with, but I reckon it was
probably a printer.
 
One of my favorite things ever is the 300 year gap in Irish inventions after whiskey was invented. (14th-17th centuries)
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Me: I bought a gun because of my bird phobia.
Therapist: You might be getting carried away.
Me: *Firing into the ceiling* Not without a fight!
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If you ever think your job is pointless there is a guy in Germany putting turn signals on BMWs.
 
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