Him: What's the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?
Me: What's the difference?
Him: A literalist takes things literally and a kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
Me:
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A woman cut in front of me in the express line at the store with a box of Tampons, ice cream and a bottle of wine.
I was NOT about to mess with that situation.
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A large group of humans is called a Fuck That.
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I pulled a muscle digging for gold.
Just a miner injury.
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Lego store reopens after lock down.
Folks lined up for blocks!
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When you teach a wolf to meditate he becomes aware wolf.
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I remember when I was a kid you could go to the store with $1 and come home with 3 bags of chips, two candy bars and a cold drink.
Now, they have cameras everywhere.
A co-worker once told me that she doesn't want to be cremated because she afraid "it might hurt"
so I'm not shocked that we are having difficulty reaching herd immunity.
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