Well I can't say I wasn't warned.
mTk's Humor Strikes Again. You've Been Warned!
- Thread starter mTk
- Start date
An artist with the military kept drawing enemy fire.
I vote that's the best one. Haha.
Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift?
She had bad blood.
She had bad blood.
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me: Thank you for that glass of milk earlier.
sperm bank employee: What glass of milk?
me: The glass of milk that was sitting on your desk.
sperm bank employee: Oh, my God!
me: What?
sperm bank employee: You drank my glass of milk.
sperm bank employee: What glass of milk?
me: The glass of milk that was sitting on your desk.
sperm bank employee: Oh, my God!
me: What?
sperm bank employee: You drank my glass of milk.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they'd be called bagels.
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Duh!
Because if they flew over the bay they'd be called bagels.
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Duh!
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What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.
Cell phones.
@mTk have you found a big box of christmas crackers and pulling them apart and going through all the jokes? 
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@mTk have you found a big box of christmas crackers and pulling them apart and going through all the jokes?
Methinks the words MTK and crackers do certainly belong in the same sentence....
As my generosity knows no bounds, here's another cringeworthy effort.......
How many ears does Spock have?
Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear!
Steve
This mere mortal can't argue with that statement.
@Nathgun You been peeking over my shoulder!?
A man heard a knock at his door so he got up and answered it. There at his feet he saw a snail. Looking around he didn't see anyone else so he squatted down and flicked the snail across the road. Ten years later the same man heard a knock at his door so he got up and answered it. Looking down he saw a snail. The snail looked up at him and said "What the fuck was that all about?"
Nurse: "Blood type?"
Dad: "Red."
Dad: "Red."
Why aren't koalas considered bears?
They don't have the koalafications.
They don't have the koalafications.
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar.
The barman says “Is this some kind of joke?â€
The barman says “Is this some kind of joke?â€
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A few years ago I took working for the Samaritans.
After about three months I took ill, and phoned up to say I wasn't going to be in...................................they talked me out of it!!
:sofa::sofa::sofa:
After about three months I took ill, and phoned up to say I wasn't going to be in...................................they talked me out of it!!
:sofa::sofa::sofa:
I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language.
I don’t know why.
What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalapeño your face.
I don’t know why.
What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalapeño your face.
"Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel."