What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their game in a hotel lobby.
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...wait for it......
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...Chess nuts boasting on an open foyer.
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...wait for it......
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...Chess nuts boasting on an open foyer.
mTk's Humor Strikes Again. You've Been Warned!
- Thread starter mTk
- Start date
One day you're young & wild and then suddenly it's:
"When did the grocery store start playing such good music?"
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Welcome to your 40's, where you can tear your rotator cuff while you're sleeping.
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Every one wants extra virgin olive oil, but I want some oil with Experience!
"When did the grocery store start playing such good music?"
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Welcome to your 40's, where you can tear your rotator cuff while you're sleeping.
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Every one wants extra virgin olive oil, but I want some oil with Experience!
Apologies for foul language, too funny to pass up.
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My doctor asked me if anyone in my family suffers from mental illness.
I said: "No, we all seem to enjoy it."
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I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome.
It was bad at first, but by the end I kind of liked it.
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Every weekend, I say to myself "Bob, you have to stop drinking wine."
Thankfully, I'm not Bob.
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I hate it when people act all intellectual and talk about Mozart when
they've never even seen one of his paintings.
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I began reading a horror novel in braille. Something bad is gonna happen.
I can feel it.
I said: "No, we all seem to enjoy it."
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I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome.
It was bad at first, but by the end I kind of liked it.
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Every weekend, I say to myself "Bob, you have to stop drinking wine."
Thankfully, I'm not Bob.
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I hate it when people act all intellectual and talk about Mozart when
they've never even seen one of his paintings.
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I began reading a horror novel in braille. Something bad is gonna happen.
I can feel it.
Hope you don't mind me jumping in on your page mate
C'mon Ted, it's not like your mTk's toady...
I can't palm a basketball, but I can fit my hand into a Pringles can
so I think we know who the real winner here is.
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Patient: What happens when we die?
Doctor: We clean the bed and admit a new patient.
so I think we know who the real winner here is.
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Patient: What happens when we die?
Doctor: We clean the bed and admit a new patient.
My neighbor knocked on my door this morning at 0230!
Can you believe that? At 0230!
Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums.
Can you believe that? At 0230!
Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums.
Me: How do you spot a blind man at a nudist beach?
Him: I don't know.
Me: It's not hard.
Him: I don't know.
Me: It's not hard.
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I forget sometimes how old I am, until my co-workers say things like
"Can you read this for me?" I don't know cursive.
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*Watching Great British Bake Off*
Me: No egg white in your Creme Caramel ?!?! It won't set up you idiot!
Wife: Your Pop Tart is burning.
"Can you read this for me?" I don't know cursive.
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*Watching Great British Bake Off*
Me: No egg white in your Creme Caramel ?!?! It won't set up you idiot!
Wife: Your Pop Tart is burning.
I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
Hope for a triple word score...
Yeah, me too.
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Haha .. somebody who calls herself a "super psychic"sent me a LinkedIn invite... what, she couldn't predict that I would decline the invite? 
*Nods head vigorously as he adds it to his collection*
This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat,
it was obvious that she thought her cat understood her...
I came into my house and I told my dog...we laughed a lot.
it was obvious that she thought her cat understood her...
I came into my house and I told my dog...we laughed a lot.