mTk's Humor Strikes Again. You've Been Warned!

[mTk]

Me watching porn in my 20's: "God, she has amazing boobs!"
Me watching porn in my 30's: "God, the tile in that shower had to have cost at least $20/SqFt."

 

[mTk]

 

[mTk]

 

[mTk]

I still think my favorite thing that's ever happened to me on the internet
is the time the guy said "People change their minds when you show them the facts."
I said, "Actually studies show that's not true"and linked two sources.
He said, "Yeah, well I still think it works."
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[mTk]

If you ever get cold, just stand in the corner for a bit.
They are usually around 90 degrees.
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What's red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.
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What do you call a sleep walking nun?
A roamin' Catholic.

 

[mTk]

 

[mTk]

 

[mTk]

If a redneck dies in battle do they go to...Y'Allhalla?

 

[HOA_KSOP]

Only if your name is Meat Grinder...

 

[mTk]

Another wooden ball!
Would it kill the makers of avocados to include a different toy,
like maybe a mood ring or a novelty eraser?
---
Me: It's not about how many times you fall, it's about how many times you get back up.
Cop: That's not how filed sobriety tests work.
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[mTk]

 

[mTk]

 

[mTk]

Pop culture quiz -
Astronaut #1: Hey, mate. I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut #2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
-

 

[mTk]

 

[mTk]

I just saw a car being driven by a sheep in a swim suit.
It was a...Lambikini.

 

[mTk]

 

[mTk]

If you get a loan at a bank you pay it back for 30 years.
If you rob a bank, you're out in about 10 years.
Follow me for more financial advice...

 

[mTk]

 

[mTk]

Every ship is a mine sweeper...once.

 

[mTk]